whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
