Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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