worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
