it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
