Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
