gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
vagina is talking i cant
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Of course I have a pirate flag
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
