the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
