speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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