I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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