Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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