I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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