Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize