Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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