There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize