girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
