we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
