dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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