someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
