As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
