Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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