yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My liver is preforming stress tests.