franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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