Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious