Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...

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  (612): I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person... http://tfl.nu/4pvh
  Replies (25) Good night (4705) Bad night (834)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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  (902): yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting http://tfl.nu/sy3h
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (3406)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.

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  (720): i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there. http://tfl.nu/dzaj
  Replies (22) Good night (670) Bad night (3436)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.

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  (201): So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her. http://tfl.nu/3bi4
  Replies (60) Good night (4289) Bad night (678)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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  (207): I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well http://tfl.nu/bwmv
  Replies (42) Good night (1091) Bad night (6547)
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  (894): View more from

  just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit

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  (894): just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit http://tfl.nu/2422
  Replies (16) Good night (7289) Bad night (929)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.

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  (443): theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down. http://tfl.nu/4061
  Replies (5) Good night (2825) Bad night (1069)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.

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  (575): You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup. http://tfl.nu/dggj
  Replies (4) Good night (4606) Bad night (1238)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?

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  (308): Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/mlvm
  Replies (8) Good night (1998) Bad night (654)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??

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  (616): I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask?? http://tfl.nu/g9zb
  Replies (18) Good night (1947) Bad night (511)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.

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  (603): Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you. http://tfl.nu/ssin
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (606)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours

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  (503): I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours http://tfl.nu/g0b7
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (1192)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours. 

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  (778): Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.  http://tfl.nu/s2ri
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (469)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Steaks?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Ash Wednesday.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?

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  (267): Steaks? (215): It's Ash Wednesday. (267): If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made? http://tfl.nu/8kzi
  Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (428)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"

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  (937): Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess" http://tfl.nu/z70t
  Replies (1) Good night (723) Bad night (297)

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