hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Let's get the cat blown out
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sex while Star Warsing is the best