Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He shit in the fireplace
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
