I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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