Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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