clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
where does the pee come out of this thing
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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