The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
