do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize