Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
