We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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