i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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