last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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