I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
