Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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