They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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