yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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