he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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