Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
