Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
