Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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