Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
