okay pat passed out under dana's car
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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