One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
