so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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