onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I supernannyed him into submission
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
