Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
