ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
