He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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