There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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