I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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