Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
