I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
