so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
