oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
