I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
two words: eviction party
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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