i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
