I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This baby is an asshole
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
