there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
