He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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