her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
