are you still at the devil's house?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
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It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
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You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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